Phillies Relent to Fans, Howard to Sit, Myers to DH

Although he almost single-handedly put the Phillies in the playoffs with his September play, first baseman Ryan Howard will sit the bench tonight in a move that Phillies fans have been calling for since the playoffs began. Taking the place of Howard in the clean-up spot will be pitcher Brett Myers according to manager Charlie Manuel.

"People probably, you know, they probably don't know it, but like, I listen to advice from the fans," said Manuel. "And they make a good, you know they make a good point about Howard not hitting. So, we're going to give Myers a shot since, like, he's batting .800."

Streams of calls to sports radio stations, and sports blogs in the Philadelphia region have been calling for the benching of Howard with his .229 batting average during the playoffs. By contrast, Myers is batting a red-hot .800 over the same time span.

Phillies fan Andrew Christopher said he thinks this is the right decision.

"Howard fucking sucks," said Christopher. "He just sucks, I dunno."