Friday, September 5, 2008

Lindros Cleared of All Charges in Friend's Mother's Death

Former Philadelphia Flyer Hockey Puck captain, Eric Lindros has been cleared of any involvement in the death of his close friend's mother. The investigation ended when the coroner's report listed cause of death as "natural causes." Suspicions arose last week when Lindros declined an invitation to attend a ceremony featuring all fifteen of the franchise's captains at the Spectrum for an exhibition game, citing his prior commitment to attend the memorial service of a friend's dead mother. Enraged by the negative response from his former prodigy, ex-general manager Bobby Clarke hired a private investigator to examine evidence and tail the Lindros family, including father Carl and mother Bonnie.

"Who sets up a memorial service that far in advance... and more importantly, who has a memorial service so late after the passing?" screamed an enraged Clarke in a recent interview. The famed forward player achieved glory back in the 7o's, leading the Flyers to two consecutive winning Championships as an integral part of the Broad Street Bullies. As GM, Clarke made a enormous trade to get Lindros and nearly won a Stanley Cup in 1997. He went on to say, "The little baby would rather kill another helpless human being and use it as excuse to not be in the same building as me."

Along with Clarke, the fans seem to be extremely upset by Lindros' refusal to attend. Bart Larame of Springfield states, "I just pulled two perfectly good pieces of duct tape off his name on the back of my jersey. Now I have to cover it up all over again. What a waste." The number 88 suffered various injuries and numerous concussions of the head while a Flyer, with his last game ending after a devastating check-hit from Devils' nemesis, Scott Stevens, in the 99-00 conference finals.

The Flyers vs. Carolina exhibition game and captain ceremony is Sept. 27th at 1 pm. The Spectrum will be demolished at the completion of the Phantoms AHL Hockey season.

1 comment:

Brett Lindros said...

hey, what about me???