Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Mendte to Receive Pardon from President Bush

Beleagured former KYW-Tv Newscaster Larry Mendte pleaded guilty in court Friday to charges that he illegally hacked into the email account of his co-anchor, Alycia Lane. Sources close to the Phunyun believe that if sentenced to a prison term, Mendte will be pardoned by President George W. Bush. These rumors have spurred on rampant speculation that Mendte has given up the news in order to pursue a career in internet surveillance, gaining intelligence to fight the war on terror.

Alabaster Le'Creme, Public Affairs officer for the Women's U.S. Gymnastics squad, believes that the anonymous hacker who exposed the Chinese ruse involving the use of underage gymnists to win the gold in these 2008 Summer Olympics was none other than Larry Mendte. He states, "The man has had a ton of time on his hands recently, and he obviously has a gift. So many people are looking at this thing from the wrong angle."

Family and friends of Mendte blame his recent troubles on the film, Swordfish, starring Hugh Jackman as a hacker who must use his web talent to get back his daughter. The former host of prime-time CBS 3 news received the movie as a gift this past Christmas. Mendte faces a possible 5 years in prison.

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