Friday, August 22, 2008

Philadelphia Zoo Unveils Newest Attraction: Walrus Imitates Andy Reid!

(photo via Scoop Ketchems, AP)

Just in time for the start of the 2008-09 football season, the Philadelphia Zoo plans to unveil it's newest attraction, an Andy Reid impersonating walrus. Now before you go calling the SPCA, you must realize that this is not your ordinary case of animal exploitation. One day, a zoo patron wearing a Philadelphia Eagles hat got too close to the edge of one of the aquatic tanks. A gust of wind lifted the cap off the upset zoo-goer and dropped it down into the water. The inhabitant of the tank, a walrus who the employees now call "Big Red" swam up and under that hat and has been wearing it ever since.

Albert Robards, head custodial engineer of the aquatic mammal division at the zoo states, "He absolutely loves the attention. At first we just joked that he looked like Coach Reid in the hat, but he completely embraced the roll." Apparently, many of the zoo-workers gather round a television on Sundays and watch the game, and now they have a rather unlikely guest. "We've taught him to do the throat clear, and we had an outside clothier create the huge black jacket and phony head-set."

And for the grand finale? "At the end of the game, he slides up on the land platform in his tank and gets behind a make shift podium with a microphone." After weeks of training and practice, the walrus has learned how to bark out something that slightly resembles Coach Reid's signature catch phrase: The time is yours.

If you were wondering where the similarities between Reid and his long tusked counterpart end, look no further than their records in the big game. Cynthia Altair, head of public relations states, "We started this promotional contest across the U.S. called the Zoo-per Bowl, where select groups of animals from major cities compete for a trophy. This year, B.R. coached his team of trained seals to a victory over some animals from the Franklin Park zoo in New England."

When I reminded Ms. Altair that Andy Reid had in fact won a Super Bowl ring, she was quick to correct me. "He wasn't the head coach on that one. Plus, it wasn't in Philly... and as far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters."

No comments: