Philadelphia Zoo Unveils Newest Attraction: Walrus Imitates Andy Reid!

(photo via Scoop Ketchems, AP)

Just in time for the start of the 2008-09 football season, the Philadelphia Zoo plans to unveil it's newest attraction, an Andy Reid impersonating walrus. Now before you go calling the SPCA, you must realize that this is not your ordinary case of animal exploitation. One day, a zoo patron wearing a Philadelphia Eagles hat got too close to the edge of one of the aquatic tanks. A gust of wind lifted the cap off the upset zoo-goer and dropped it down into the water. The inhabitant of the tank, a walrus who the employees now call "Big Red" swam up and under that hat and has been wearing it ever since.

Albert Robards, head custodial engineer of the aquatic mammal division at the zoo states, "He absolutely loves the attention. At first we just joked that he looked like Coach Reid in the hat, but he completely embraced the roll." Apparently, many of the zoo-workers gather round a television on Sundays and watch the game, and now they have a rather unlikely guest. "We've taught him to do the throat clear, and we had an outside clothier create the huge black jacket and phony head-set."

And for the grand finale? "At the end of the game, he slides up on the land platform in his tank and gets behind a make shift podium with a microphone." After weeks of training and practice, the walrus has learned how to bark out something that slightly resembles Coach Reid's signature catch phrase: The time is yours.

If you were wondering where the similarities between Reid and his long tusked counterpart end, look no further than their records in the big game. Cynthia Altair, head of public relations states, "We started this promotional contest across the U.S. called the Zoo-per Bowl, where select groups of animals from major cities compete for a trophy. This year, B.R. coached his team of trained seals to a victory over some animals from the Franklin Park zoo in New England."

When I reminded Ms. Altair that Andy Reid had in fact won a Super Bowl ring, she was quick to correct me. "He wasn't the head coach on that one. Plus, it wasn't in Philly... and as far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters."

Hello From Lehigh: Eagles Training Camp Day 10

The players (and this particular writer) cheered a collective, "Yay" before the start of training Eagles camp practice drills at Lehigh University, after the morning session was canceled due to a water main break. Eagles backing up quarterback, Kevin Kolb, used this extra time to sleep in. I used the break in the football playing to visit the main campus book store. The traffic was light due to many students being away on summer break and one employee stated that the majority of players cannot read.

I picked up the newest Giada De Laurentiis pasta cook book and headed to the checkout counter when something caught my eye. Local artist Martin Slamon has published a new illustrated book from Scholastic entitled "Where' Shawn Andrews Now?"

Readers must search for Shawn as he hides among thousands of people in various Philadelphia locales, including the Italian Market and Rittenhouse Square. Also hidden throughout the book are various items the number 73 is known to carry: like his cell phone, a ham sandwich, and a snake necklace he left at one of his girlfriends houses.

Andrews, an all-star offensive lineman, who's job it is to protect the number 5 from being placed on the ground by an opposing player, has been missing from Eagles practice training meeting football camp for unknown reasons.

"Where' Shawn Andrews Now?" can be purchased through digidigidigi via PayPal.

Tight Ends: Rookie safety Quintin Demps joined cornerbacks Lito Sheppard and Asante Samuel on the Injury Hurting list... Brian Dawkins handed out FREE Touchdown Sundaes from Turkey Hill and he scared me... Andy Reid's mustache is red with little bits of gold in it.

Sports Radio Caller Hired As Eagles GM

In a move that will likely send shockwaves through the National Football League, Philadelphia Eagles president Joe Banner announced the hiring of Vincent "Vinny" Salvadori today as the team's new general manager after hearing the trade ideas he had as a caller on a local sports radio station last week.

"We like to think a little outside the box," said Banner, speaking from the team's training camp at Lehigh University. "Vinny just has some very bold and interesting ideas that we think will take us to the next level."

Last Wednesday Salvadori, a lifelong South Philadelphia resident, called into the midday show on 610 WIP with hosts Anthony Gargano and Glen Macnow, to suggest a trade of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb for fellow quarterback Brett Favre. Favre announced his retirement at the end of last season but is looking to return to football and is asking the Green Bay Packers to release or trade him.

"Look, I'm just saying you know what Favre can do and he's like awesome, he's like a warrior" said Salvadori. "Plus, McNabb's a bum and we're not going to win anything with him. I've been saying that since we drafted him in '99"

Salvadori, who says his most recent career was "doing side jobs," has no front office experience and didn't play football past a pop warner team at age 12. But Salvadori says he thinks these are benefits for him.

"I'm not stuck on all this [stuff] like the other GMs, like salary caps and whatever. Who cares, let's just get the deals done," Salvadori said.

The hiring of Salvadori means Andy Reid will step down from his post as general manager but will stay on for his tenth season as the team's head coach. It is a move Reid says he welcomes.

"It's tough doing both jobs, plus my kids are clearly losing their minds, so I think this is good for everyone," said Reid.

During the first week of training camp Salvadori says he expects to make his dream trade come true by offering the Packers the 31-year-old McNabb for Favre, who will turn 39 this October.

"We need some better wide receivers here too so I might see if they want to throw in [Donald] Driver," said Salvadori.

McNabb, who is training for the upcoming season in Arizona was unavailable for comment at press time.

The unprecedented move of hiring someone with no football experience is long overdue according to Salvadori who has plans for all Philadelphia sports teams.

"I've been saying for years that if I was running the teams we'd have a championship by now," said Salvadori. "We'd have Kobe [Bryant] on the Sixers, ARod on the Phils and I dunno, whoever is the best hockey player on the Flyers. It would be effing sweet."