World Series Champs Release Magical Holiday Album

Those tuning in to PBS (WHYY) tomorrow evening will not see the regularly scheduled "Chris Isaak Christmas" or "Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir." Instead, they will be treated to a holiday music tour de force, featuring the unlikely coupling of the 2008 World Series Champions, the Philadelphia Phillies, with star recording artists ranging from Hall n' Oates to Sir Elton John. This special, taped just weeks ago at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia, features select songs from the new album "Christmas Came Two Months Early..." the brainchild of Phil Spector, world renowned producer and murderer. Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel coined the popular phrase that adorns each CD insert in a speech at the conclusion of the Championship parade at Citizen's Bank Park. Since that moment, the city of Philadelphia had been in a state of Christmas Euphoria.

Contributors to PBS fundraisers and drives can get their holiday 2 disc-set for a donation of $200.00 US. Disc One is 16 tracks of holiday cheer with a dash of Phillies championship baseball. Highlights include musical cameos by MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, former star of "Who's the Boss?" Alyssa Milano, star of Broadway and stage Robert Goulet, the Vienna Boys Choir and many more... all teamed up with South Philadelphia's favorite team to sing old and new Christmas classics. Disc Two is a DVD packed with extras from the making of the album. Take on the Phillie Phanatic in an interactive sleigh ride on the Schuykill, follow local camera crews for behind the scenes bloopers in the 60 min. all access documentary, or help local radio personality from 610 WIP, Howard Eskin, save his collection of Christmas mink coats from the PETA Grinches.

Full Track listing for Disc 1 can be found by clicking more below.
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1. O' Coach O' Coach, C. Manuel - the entire 2008 World Series Championship Philadelphia Phillies roster headed by Robert Goulet.
2. Step Into Kalas - Phillies announcer Harry Kalas and Sir Elton John.
3. Jingle Burrell Rock - outfielder, Pat Burrell and the Phillies Ball Girls.
4. Here Comes Blanton Claus - pitcher and game four hero Joe Blanton on the sax (instrumental).
5. Joy to the World (F*cking Champions) - Chase Utley and the Vienna Boys Choir.
6. Silent Ninth - perfect closer, Brad Lidge with the help of J.C. Romero and Ryan Madson.
7. Do You Eyre What I Eyre? - Scott Eyre, Chad Durbin, and J.A. Happ team up with the Bare Naked Ladies.
8. Baby, it's Wet Outside - MLB commissioner Bud Selig and the Citizen's Bank Grounds Crew, with a special solo by Fox's John Bolaris.
9. Gillick-alikimaka - Shane and brother Mau-hulo Victorino celebrate the Phillies former GM and their native land.
10. What Inning is This? - Sarge Matthews and Alyssa Milano.
11. Deck the Wife - Phillies starting pitcher, Brett Myers and the Boston PD.
12. Ruiz/Feliz Navidad - catcher Carlos Ruiz and third baseman Pedro Feliz mambo with Buena Vista Social Club.
13. O' Little Town of Souderton - The Jamie Moyer Family.
14. Brunt-lett it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow - pinch hitter Eric Bruntlett, Daryl Hall and John Oates.
15. Swing Away in a Manger - Ryan Howard and his animated bat, Hitty (voiced by Dom De Louise).
16. I've Got My Glove to Keep Me Warm - golden glover Jimmy Rollins and soul artist Eryka Badu.

Phillies Call In Bejing Olympic Weather Modification Team to Halt Downpour...

A select team of 30 members of the Bureau of Weather Modification, one of the largest organizations in the world, touched down at Philadelphia International Airport early this morning with one thing on their mind: STOP THAT RAIN. The BWM's spokeperson, Wang Cheung, states, "We received a carr rate rast night from the Phiraderphia Phirries, asking us to herp hart the incrimate weather that is currentry hitting the city." When asked why he was talking this way, Cheung did three backflips and disappeared. This team, part of the 37,000 member army that the BWM has become, is called into action whenever parts of the world are struck by an unusual drought. But much like they did in Bejing for the 2008 Olympics, they are now being called upon to stop the rain from falling over a particular geographical region, that being Citizen's Bank Park.

A translator for lead BWM weapons specialist, General Kara Teechop shared, "We basically shoot various items up into the clouds, like silver iodide, salts, dry ice, Craisins, and rubber bands." This form of "rain mitigation" helped open a small window of perfect weather for the Chinese games, keeping the patrons inside the Birds Nest in downtown Bejing high and dry. When asked if he was concerned that perhaps this process could cause a drought in the Philadelphia region for a prolonged amount of time, Mayor Nutter stated, "I'd trade an agricultural drought for a championship drought anyday."

Philadelphia Soul Celebrates Championship With A Group Of Persons, Vehicles, Or Objects Moving Along In An Orderly, Formal Manner

Philadelphia has not seen a championship parade since the 76ers won the NBA title in 1983. But after the Philadelphia Soul captured the Arena League Championship at Arena Bowl XXII it was assumed by many the city would once again have a ticker-tape parade down Broad Street. Yea, not so much.

In lieu of a "parade," the team instead had a "procession" from 6th and Market to Dilworth Plaza at 16th St. and JFK Boulevard and proclaimed today Philadelphia Soul Day. The events were lost on many Philadelphia residents who witnessed the parade procession as they walked down Market Street.

"I don't even know what a Philadelphia Soul is," said Sharif Taylor of Mount Airy, on his way to Suburban Station. "Philadelphia Soul Day? I don't know about that, it's just Thursday for me."

Turnout along the parade procession route was sparse although some Soul faithful did show up for the parade's procession's end at Dilworth Plaza. Margaret Collins has been following the Soul since they began play in 2004 and said there was no way she would miss this event.

"I don't know a thing about football, who cares really, but I've been Jon Bon Jovi's biggest fan since 1982," she said. "He even signed my breast, look I got it tattooed."

Although it was rumored Bon Jovi would perform at today's event, the co-owner of the team did not give the tens of people in attendance a concert. Other things that did not happen include people caring and people saying "this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me."