Philadelphia Soul Celebrates Championship With A Group Of Persons, Vehicles, Or Objects Moving Along In An Orderly, Formal Manner

Philadelphia has not seen a championship parade since the 76ers won the NBA title in 1983. But after the Philadelphia Soul captured the Arena League Championship at Arena Bowl XXII it was assumed by many the city would once again have a ticker-tape parade down Broad Street. Yea, not so much.

In lieu of a "parade," the team instead had a "procession" from 6th and Market to Dilworth Plaza at 16th St. and JFK Boulevard and proclaimed today Philadelphia Soul Day. The events were lost on many Philadelphia residents who witnessed the parade procession as they walked down Market Street.

"I don't even know what a Philadelphia Soul is," said Sharif Taylor of Mount Airy, on his way to Suburban Station. "Philadelphia Soul Day? I don't know about that, it's just Thursday for me."

Turnout along the parade procession route was sparse although some Soul faithful did show up for the parade's procession's end at Dilworth Plaza. Margaret Collins has been following the Soul since they began play in 2004 and said there was no way she would miss this event.

"I don't know a thing about football, who cares really, but I've been Jon Bon Jovi's biggest fan since 1982," she said. "He even signed my breast, look I got it tattooed."

Although it was rumored Bon Jovi would perform at today's event, the co-owner of the team did not give the tens of people in attendance a concert. Other things that did not happen include people caring and people saying "this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me."

Uarts Students Ask, "What is Love?"

The Love Park sculpture designed by artist Robert Indiana was first placed in the plaza near City Hall in 1976 as part of the Bicentennial celebration. Aside from being temporarily removed in 1978 and then permanently placed back at the site, the sculpture has gone virtually undisturbed. Until now that is.

Students from the University of the Arts in Center City, under the tutelage of Multimedia Director Chris Garvin, have created an installation within the base of the world famous sculpture. Their Multimedia program was established in 1997, and teaches students to make art using "many medias", which include iconic iconography and small text.

Garvin, with his iMac blue eyes shining brightly, stated, "Initially, the plan was to have this open space in front of the sculpture covered in sensors, you know... and various park go-ers could control the height and shape of the water in the fountain, depending on how fast and in what direction they moved their body. It would be like, a liquid extension of the human form, set in an urban and public domain."

The final installation went in a different direction, consisting of an I-River MP3 player connected to a set of JBL speakers within the silver shape that holds up the sculpture. Visitors to the park, using a USB cord, can upload songs from their personal music devices, if and only if the word "LOVE" is contained within the song's title or its lyrics.

The water within the fountain that serves as a backdrop to the installation has been dyed yellow as well. A Uarts senior was quick to point out that it is in fact dyed hexadecimal #FFFFOO. Currently, the only song uploaded and playing on an endless loop was "What is Love" by Haddaway.

The installation is officially on display until its stolen by the homeless..

Rittenhouse Homeless Disappear, Are Delicious

Philadelphia residents who frequent Rittenhouse Square have recently noticed a drop in the amount of homeless residing in the area and sleeping on various park benches. The city attributes the drop in more frequent patrolling of the area by police, but a Phunyun investigative report finds that the drop in homeless may have a more sinister explanation.

Until recently, an early morning stroll around Rittenhouse Square would find upwards of 30 homeless men and women sleeping on benches and bathing in a fountain. But that same stroll on Tuesday found only a handful of Philadelphia's homeless could be found, and the ones that remained admit they are scared of what's happening.

"It's like everyone's just disappearing, which is kind of good 'cause plenty of benches for me," said "John" a 34-year-old homeless man originally from Boise, Idaho.

But a 2 hour investigation by The Phunyun has discovered that the homeless may indeed be disappearing ... into the bellies of Philadelphia's hungry elite.

Just two weeks ago Steven Starr opened his most recent Philadelphia restaurant, Parc, in Rittenhouse Square, an opening that coincides with the disappearance of Rittenhouse Square's homeless. A source close to the restaurant's opening who requested anonymity says rising food prices have caused the Starr restaurant to seek food sources elsewhere.

"When you've got meat prices as high as they are it's time to look a little outside the box," said the source. "And so maybe a homeless person disappears and ends up on someone's dinner plate, so what?"

Last night Parc was packed as usual and a quick scan of the restaurant's menu found one odd and very popular item: Soy Lent with Greens. Parc Maitre De, Shawn Christopher, said it's an item the restaurant can barely keep on hand.

"I've never seen anything like it anywhere else I've worked, usually by around 9 o'clock we're all out of it," said Christopher. "I don't know what it is exactly but it's delish and you can say Soy Lent with Greens is people ... I mean popular."

Steven Starr could not be reached for comment at press time.

Skate-boarder Style May Hurt, In the Pants

Men... Men... Men. There's nothing I like seeing more than a hot male doing his thing in the tightest clothes possible. Within the skating and rocking community, the tight legged, tight butt'd, well... tight everything pant/jean has been all the rage. And who am I to complain? Well I'm Alessa the Great, and complaining is what I do best, child.

There's a reason the good lord made your "equipment" hang lower than the rest of your body. I have a very diverse understanding of the male anatomy, and it didn't take a google search or a wiki-what-have-you to realize that you're killing the future. Sure you look great in those pants, flipping your board this way and that. And far be it from me to haggle over the fact that I personally couldn't fit my arm in one of your pant legs, let alone the rest of what God gave me below the belt.

I propose that we use the comment section of this very post to help brainstorm and find a solution to hipster pant related infertility.

McNabb Allergic to Racism

Today at training camp in Lehigh, Philadelphia Quarterback leader Donovan McNabb was motor carted off the football playing area after having an allergic reaction to racism. McNabb, now in his tenth year, lead the half of the team that scores offense onto the field and started a football drive. After receiving the snap from center, the number five went back to make a football pass to his wide receiver, R. Brown. The ball went right through the arm hands of Brown, and immediately the crowd began to "boo." Shortly thereafter, McNabb began to have his allergic reaction.

Team doctors say symptoms included dry heaving, retching, with eventual vomiting and the inability to complete a short football pass. Head coach Andy Reid addressed the media shortly after practice and said, "We had to take Donovan out there... just as a precaution there. We'll re-examine him tomorrow. The time is yours."

Tight-ends: Highlights of the day's activities included one particular football play where a player grabbed the ball and began to speed run down the white line on the side of the field. He was tackle hit by another player and made a fumble....Also, the players' uniforms are clean, fit well and look very good....The Eagles start the pre-season season on Aug. 9th in Pittsburgh.

Daily News Dredging The Bottom Of The Barrell For Philly's Sexy Singles

The Philadelphia Daily News began their annual Sexy Singles search, but after years of searching they seem to be coming up short in their nominations for the region's most attractive and eligible singles.

Daily News section editor Karyn Peters says the city's reputation for having some of the most unattractive people in the country has finally caught up with the paper.

"We've been doing this for a couple of years now and it just seems like it gets harder and harder to find sexy singles because, well to be honest the people here are pretty fugly," said Peters.

Peters is not the only one saying the city is suffering from a hottie shortage, last year a Travel + Leisure poll found Philadelphia was home to the least attractive people in the country. Combine that with the city's former standing as the fattest city in the nation and it doesn't leave many "sexy" singles to choose from.

"I say good luck to the Daily News because I'm thinking about importing people from other cities for my clients," said Phyllis Seinfeld, owner of Phind Phorever inPhatuation a Philadelphia-based matchmaking firm. "Go outside right now and find someone who's attractive and single in this city, I dare you."

To combat the problem, Peters said the Daily News decided to lower the bar a bit for this year's competition, even opening it up to people currently in relationships.

"I guess you can say 'single' is a relative term especially when it comes to this," said Peters. "But we told people, 'if your significant other sees you in our paper don't come blaming us.'"

But some see the shortage of attractive people as a boon to them. New sexy single nominee and current Phunyun entertainment reporter Rico Savage said he thinks his nomination will finally get him some attention from the opposite sex.

"I think a lot of women see me and they're either intimidated or they think a hot guy like me must have a chick already or something," said Savage. "So this basically is just an advertisement that says, "Yo! I'm single, let's rock!"

The Daily News' list of "sexy" "singles" will continue all this week.

Anti-Straw Purchase Campaign Misses Mark

A recent television ad campaign starring Philadelphia District Attorney Lynne Abraham targets those individuals involved in straw purchases of handguns. In this scenario, a person who cannot purchase a weapon due to their ineligibility gets a proxy buyer to acquire the gun. The commercial states that the D.A. will prosecute any buyer of handguns that are used in crimes and homicides as if they were the ones who pulled the trigger. The campaign has been in heavy rotation for approximately a month and begs the question: is it actually working?

Authorities say that gun traffickers are targeting Pennsylvania, where a straw purchase can net a drug dealer a handgun in a half an hour. In New Jersey and New York, the process takes up to 3 weeks. Assistant District Attorney Albert Toczydlowski says the recent task force created in Pennsylvania is making 10 arrests a month, only a small fraction of actual offenders. In this respect, the anti-straw purchase campaign has been a complete failure.

Where the commercial seems to have had the most impact was on the sale of actual straws or drinking aides, including bendy, crazy, and traditional versions. The Straw Factory in Kensington, Pa. reported a drop of 75% in business from last year and five hundred layoffs as of June 2008.

Eagles' Lito Sheppard Traded To Book Publisher For Dictionary

Disgruntled Eagles cornerback Lito Sheppard received the trade he had been seeking earlier today when the team moved him to book publisher Random House for a Webster's Dictionary and a book to be named later.

After hearing an interview with the two-time Pro Bowler where he claimed the Eagles were showing him "disappreciation," Random House, publisher of Webster's Dictionary, contacted the team looking to make a trade. Ellis Burroughs, spokesperson for Random House said Sheppard will head one of the company's newest departments.

"It's been difficult for us to keep up with the new words that are entering the American lexicon every year," said Burroughs. "We're hoping someone with the foresight of Lito can help us discover these words before they get out to the general public."

Burroughs cites the last eight years of the Bush administration and the popularity of The Colbert Report as creating the biggest problems for the company and their iconic dictionary.

"The average person isn't going to be able to come up with a word like misunderestimated or truthiness," said Burroughs. "But Lito's clearly ahead of the curve in that regard. Just today he told me he was "exaspercited" to start with us next week. Obviously we're exaspercited to have him as well."

With the off-season acquisition of Asante Samuel, the Eagles defensive backfield had become overpopulated and it was clear Lito Sheppard was going to be the odd man out. Eagles head coach Andy Reid feels the trade is the best that could be worked out.

"We have to make the moves that are best for the team and right now what's best for the team is getting what we can for a player like Lito," said Reid. "I'm not going to go into details, but we think the books that we acquired are going to play a big role ... task ... purpose ... capacity. See it's already paying off."

Ignoring Irony, Rabid Sports Fans Call Dark Knight Fans, "Nerds"

Last week The Dark Knight, the latest film in the Batman series, earned over $18.5 million in midnight showings its opening night. The movie was shown in an unprecedented 3,040 screens across the country at the stroke of midnight. For many of the people who were able to see the movie in the wee hours of the morning that meant standing in line for hours to get tickets, something some people have begun calling "nerdy."

In it's opening weekend, The Dark Knight set a record for the biggest opening gross for a film ever, earning $158.4 million. Chris Martinez was one of the fans who waited in line for hours just to buy a ticket to the midnight showing.

"I was here at 6 o'clock Wednesday night with my friends, so basically 30 hours in line," said Martinez still in the Joker make-up he had been wearing for almost two days. "I'm used to sitting at my computer playing World of Warcraft for almost that long anyway, no biggie."

But amazingly some people think waiting in line for hours to buy a ticket to a movie based on a comic book is for "nerds," "dorks" or "losers." John McKernan, who describes himself as a "die-hard Philly sports fan" says only a geek would wait in line for hours dressed as a movie character. But amazingly enough, McKernan admits to painting his entire body green and standing topless in Lincoln Financial Field in near freezing temperatures for an Eagles game.

"Yo, that's completely different though - that's sports" said McKernan. "You can't be a loser and like sports, it's just not possible. It's been proven, like scientifically proven."

In fact, it hasn't been proven. And a recent study by Nina Von Dooshen, professor and head of the Sociology department at the University of Pennsylvania, shows the actions of many sports fans closely resemble the habits of the people who would attend a midnight showing of The Dark Knight, or even the latest Comic-Con.

"It's really amazing when you look at it because the actions of sports fans and the actions of fans of movies like The Dark Knight, or fanboys as we call them, are almost identical," said Von Dooshen. "We have sports fans at an extreme level painting their bodies and standing in extremely cold temperature and on a lesser level wearing their favorite player's jersey. And we have fanboys, or girls as the case may be, dressing up as a character like Batman or maybe seeing a movie at 3a.m. It's quite fascinating, the two groups are really more alike then they might imagine."

But while Von Dooshen says the two groups are essentially exhibiting the same fanatical habits, McKernan and Martinez disagree.

"Those guys are just obnoxious, drunk and obnoxious, we're not like them," said Martinez. "It's not like we're starting fights with people who are coming to the theater to see Mama Mia!"

McKernan added, "That Von Dooshen chick doesn't know what she's talking about 'cause I ain't never gonna wait in line no 30 hours for birds tickets. Plus you gotta buy them online now anyway."

Rico Savage, The Phunyun's entertainment reporter, cannot be reached by phone (credit issues) but can be reached by e-mail at savage.rico@gmail.com

Billy Penn/the Philly Curse WANTED Dead or Alive

On the road to the world series in 1993, the Phillies fitted the William Penn statue atop City Hall with an oversized red Phillies cap. In 1997, the Flyers adorned Penn with an oversized orange away hockey jersey. Both resulted in heartbreaking loses and neither were successful in ending the "philly curse". In the 2001 NBA finals and the 2005 Superbowl, the Sixers and Eagles respectively left the statue untouched. The result: still no championship. This Sunday, the San Jose Sabrecats (13-5) and your very own Philadelphia Soul (15-3) will meet for Arena Bowl XXII in New Orleans. When asked if he was nervous about combating not only San Jose but also the supernatural, Soul co-owner and Jersey native rocker Jon Bon Jovi said, "No... I have a secret weapon."

This morning, the William Penn statue atop City Hall has been covered in an enormous replica of Bon Jovi's fashionable '80s performing attire. Upon viewing the statue, Mel Gross, a Soul season ticket holder from Strawberry Mansion stated, "I cannot believe he actualy wore that. But it worked for him then and hopefully it will work for me and the Soul fans this weekend." 

Ron Jaworski, the more football oriented half of the Soul ownership, feels he owes the fans of Philadelphia a championship after quarterbacking the Eagles to a loss in Super Bowl XV. But does he think an Arena Football championship constitutes an end to the curse? "Of course it would. Arena Football is not a fad and the strong fan base here in Philadelphia proves that." 

Bon Jovi added, "A championship is a championship, and we're here to make sure that the people of this city get their parade."

"The William Penn Curse" began in March of 1987 with the completion of One Liberty Place in Center City. The new skyscraper exceeded the height of City Hall, atop which the Penn statue resides. Philadelphia has since failed to win a sports championship.

The Soul are making their first ever ArenaBowl appearance this Sunday, July 27 at 3 pm on ESPN and ABC in HD.

Hipsters Invasion of South Philly Continues

Long thought of as the home of Rocky Balboa and the Italian Market, South Philadelphia has recently become the haven of the local hipster set, causing concern for many longtime residents of the area who fear an "Italian flight."

After being priced out of other areas of the city, young people prone to wearing skinny jeans and American Apparel hoodies have been moving to the South Philly area, bringing their love of overpriced fruity beer and indie-rock with them. The move angers residents like Felicia DeBruno who has lived in the same South Philadelphia rowhome for all of her 82 years.

"The boys look like the girls and the girls with the leggings," DeBruno said. "I don't understand any of it. But they must have bad eyesight with the size of those sunglasses."

But it appears the future of South Philadelphia belongs to the hipsters as more and more hipster-related businesses move into the area. Shops like Doggie Style, which labels itself as a "premier boutique and spa for your dog," would have been unthinkable only a few years ago, yet they seem to be thriving today.

"Here's the thing, if I'm living here I want the places I shop in to have witty, snarky names," said Clint Lane, who moved to a Broad Street apartment with his three friends four months ago. "So, I'm getting coffee at Black N Brew and getting my dog's food at Doggie Style. Screw Starbucks and PetSmart."

Last month it was reported that Philadelphia restaurant maven Steven Starr would be purchasing the Broad Street Diner, which was on the market for $1.9 million, and bringing his signature style of restaurants like Alma De Cuba and Tangerine to South Philadelphia. But some argue the move won't be anything special for the neighborhood.

"Look at what Starr's doing in other places now," said Chris DiPeitro, restaurant critic for the the website southphillyrestaurants.com. "In all likelihood it's just going to be another Buddakan or Continental."

But as some long time residents are considering moving to escape the influx of hipsters, residents like Gaetano Difellipo say they're going to stick it out, even if they don't like what they see.

"I go into that South Philly Tap Room the other night and I walk over to the jukebox and guess what? Not a Sinatra tune in the bunch," said Difellipo. "I mean not even Dean Martin. This is like blasphemy, but I ain't moving, no way."

Nutter to Impliment New "Tuck" Rule

On March 31st of 2008, Mayor Nutter threw out the celebratory first pitch at Citizen's Bank Park in front of 44,000 Phillies fans, but not many people saw it. Their eyes were full of tears, bellies were full of laughter, and hands were waving in the air in sheer disbelief. "How could a man tuck his baseball jersey into his jeans?" asked Marsha Taylor of Marcus Hook, a Phillies Season ticket holder since 1994. At the time, it seemed like a viable question, but who's laughing now? Certainly not the likes of Bottega Veneta, Dolce & Gabbana, Emilio Pucci, and Versace.

Fast forward to the recent Milan Fashion Week Summer 2008 and the Mayor's influence can be seen everywhere. World famous designers are tucking high price, high quality fabric blouses and tops into fashion's hottest jeans. Suit coats, flannel tops, and tanks are disappearing into high-set jeans all around the globe. Experts say it won't be long before the common consumer will be able to pick up Nutter's infamous look at Target, Wal-mart and Sears.

Mayor Nutter's office had not returned our call as of this publication.

The Daily News Accused Of Stealing Photos Again

For the second time in less than a week, the Philadelphia Daily News is being sued for copyright infringement after allegedly using photographs without permission for their front page.

In the lawsuit, filed in Philadelphia Federal Court today, the Daily News is accused of "knowingly using a photograph hosted on The Phunyun's website without permission for use on their July 22 issue." The photograph in question ran on The Phunyun's website on July 21, the following day that same picture allegedly appeared on the front page of the Daily News.

Phunyun spokesperson Jay Geils said the news organization felt the need to file the lawsuit after seeing a similar suit filed by Brad Maule last week.

"It's pretty clear to us that the Daily News feels that they can just take anything they want whenever they want and we're saying 'no, you can't do this,'" said Geils. "I mean this isn't like the Internet where you can just steal music and whatnot. The Phunyun is not the Daily News' Limewire."

Last week Maule, founder of phillyskyline.com, filed suit against the Daily News, The Colbert Report and Family Dodge alleging they used images from his website without permission and is seeking $1.25 million in damages.

In their lawsuit The Phunyun is seeking $500 million in damages from Philadelphia Media Holding, owners of the Daily News and the Philadelphia Inquirer. Geils said the enormous amount they are seeking is due to "irreparable damage" which was done to The Phunyun.

"To be honest, this lawsuit wouldn't be happening if we were talking about the New York Times using our photo, or even the Inquirer," he said. "But the Daily News? Really? People only read that for sports and gossip. And 75 cents? Please."

Representatives for Philadelphia Media Holdings could not be reached for comment.

Larry Mendte Might Know Your MySpace Password

Authorities are asking all those with MySpace/Facebook or e-mail accounts to change their passwords in the aftermath of the recent Larry Mednte scandal. If evidence is to be believed, the former CBS3 newscaster accessed his fellow co-anchor Alycia Lane's Yahoo e-mail account 537 times over the span of 146 days. Using a small keystroke-logging device and his ninja like skill, Mendte easily obtained Lane's password and began his personal investigation, perhaps in search of those Rich Eisen bikini shots.

Social networking website users who have recently logged into their accounts only to hear that they've un-knowningly sent fellow users messages about "free ring tones" or "hott web graphix" should contact authorities immediately. Their password has more than likely been "mend-teed" and can no longer be trusted.

Obese Man Clogs Franklin Institute's Giant Heart

Visitors looking to enter the iconic Giant Heart exhibit at The Franklin Institute were turned away today when an obese man became stuck inside the model walk-thru heart.

At 2 p.m. Tuesday, Philadelphia police and fire department were called to the science museum to assist in the removal of a 400 pound man from the heart exhibit located on the building's second floor. Upon entering The Joy and George Rathmann Hall of Science, police officer Erik Stevens said he was shocked by what he saw.

"I remember coming here as a kid and seeing the heart so I know what it's supposed to look like," said Stevens. "But this was amazing because the one part was all bulged out from the size of the guy inside."

Witnesses of the event said the man inside the heart, 42-year-old Michael McConnell of St. Louis, Missouri, entered with a group of tourists who encouraged him to stay out.

"I had just gone through [the heart] before that guy went in and I was saying to my boyfriend that the walkways and steps were so narrow," said Alisha Harrison of Port Richmond who was visiting the museum for the first time. "When I saw him go in I seriously said to myself, 'I bet he gets stuck,' and sure enough he did."

Firefighters initially planned to remove McConnell by cutting into the heart's upper chamber, but were concerned the incision would cause irreparable damage to the 54 year old heart, which underwent renovations in 2004. Instead, firefighters inserted a large tube filled with compressed air which expanded a portion of the heart allowing McConnell to pass through.

The irony of the entire event was not lost on museum curator Steven Jacobs who said a height and weight restriction for the heart may be enforced in the future.

"Look, if this isn't a metaphor for what's happening in this country then nothing is," said Jacobs. "For god's sake, a fat man clogged a giant heart, what more do do I need to say? I'm just glad we don't have a giant liver because I don't want to know the things that would go on in there."

McConnell was taken to Hahnemann University Hospital‎ where he is listed in stable condition.

The Giant Heart is listed in fair condition and Jacobs says the exhibit will reopen to the public following a recovery period.

"We'll probably start slowly and just see how it goes, but I expect the heart to be up and running in about three months."

Philly Gets Transformers 2, Camden Gets the GoBots

(Above: Early conceptual art for GoBots: The Movie © 2007)

An article on Camden and its western suburbs finding their place as locations for Hollywood motion pictures has appeared on the site of NJ Motion Picture & Television Commission. Amongst the many movies listed for using Camden as the location to shoot their materials, GoBots: The Movie is named by the article as possibly also shooting here.

The GPFO website (film.org) headed by Sharon Pinkenson dismissed the claims of a "rival robot transforming into a human vehicle" movie just across the river as just a rumor. She states, "We have a world renowned director in Michael Bay, a world renowned duo of young actors in Megan Fox and Shia Lebouf, and a franchise in Transformers that's loved by millions around the world. There's no time to speculate about the revival of a half rate children's franchise that aired on USA networks back in the 90's."

Unbeknownst to Pinkenson, the cartoon in fact aired in 1984-85, beating the original Transformers cartoon to the air and running for 66 episodes. As of yesterday morning, the only talent rumored to be attached to the rival robot action film is "Golden Girl" favorite, Bea Arthur as the voice of Crasher.

Rittenhouse Square to become Circle

Preliminary plans began today at City Hall under the watchful eye of Mayor Nutter. His mission is to completely redesign the section of the city known as Rittenhouse Square. The city landmark was known as the southwest square until 1825 when it was named for the astronomer-clockmaker, David Rittenhouse. He's dead now, and various city officials feel that the popular area could use a much needed face lift.

"For years, this particular area has brought together all types of people from all walks of life, but at the same time has forced them to decide which of the four sides of the square they wished to occupy," states Nutter. The mayor went on to say that patrons of the former Square can eventually "meet their people in the middle." When asked what he would place at the center of the newly formed Rittenhouse Circle upon the completion of construction, Mayor Nutter responded, "something creamy."

Sports Radio Caller Hired As Eagles GM

In a move that will likely send shockwaves through the National Football League, Philadelphia Eagles president Joe Banner announced the hiring of Vincent "Vinny" Salvadori today as the team's new general manager after hearing the trade ideas he had as a caller on a local sports radio station last week.

"We like to think a little outside the box," said Banner, speaking from the team's training camp at Lehigh University. "Vinny just has some very bold and interesting ideas that we think will take us to the next level."

Last Wednesday Salvadori, a lifelong South Philadelphia resident, called into the midday show on 610 WIP with hosts Anthony Gargano and Glen Macnow, to suggest a trade of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb for fellow quarterback Brett Favre. Favre announced his retirement at the end of last season but is looking to return to football and is asking the Green Bay Packers to release or trade him.

"Look, I'm just saying you know what Favre can do and he's like awesome, he's like a warrior" said Salvadori. "Plus, McNabb's a bum and we're not going to win anything with him. I've been saying that since we drafted him in '99"

Salvadori, who says his most recent career was "doing side jobs," has no front office experience and didn't play football past a pop warner team at age 12. But Salvadori says he thinks these are benefits for him.

"I'm not stuck on all this [stuff] like the other GMs, like salary caps and whatever. Who cares, let's just get the deals done," Salvadori said.

The hiring of Salvadori means Andy Reid will step down from his post as general manager but will stay on for his tenth season as the team's head coach. It is a move Reid says he welcomes.

"It's tough doing both jobs, plus my kids are clearly losing their minds, so I think this is good for everyone," said Reid.

During the first week of training camp Salvadori says he expects to make his dream trade come true by offering the Packers the 31-year-old McNabb for Favre, who will turn 39 this October.

"We need some better wide receivers here too so I might see if they want to throw in [Donald] Driver," said Salvadori.

McNabb, who is training for the upcoming season in Arizona was unavailable for comment at press time.

The unprecedented move of hiring someone with no football experience is long overdue according to Salvadori who has plans for all Philadelphia sports teams.

"I've been saying for years that if I was running the teams we'd have a championship by now," said Salvadori. "We'd have Kobe [Bryant] on the Sixers, ARod on the Phils and I dunno, whoever is the best hockey player on the Flyers. It would be effing sweet."