Sunday, July 27, 2008

Eagles' Lito Sheppard Traded To Book Publisher For Dictionary

Disgruntled Eagles cornerback Lito Sheppard received the trade he had been seeking earlier today when the team moved him to book publisher Random House for a Webster's Dictionary and a book to be named later.

After hearing an interview with the two-time Pro Bowler where he claimed the Eagles were showing him "disappreciation," Random House, publisher of Webster's Dictionary, contacted the team looking to make a trade. Ellis Burroughs, spokesperson for Random House said Sheppard will head one of the company's newest departments.

"It's been difficult for us to keep up with the new words that are entering the American lexicon every year," said Burroughs. "We're hoping someone with the foresight of Lito can help us discover these words before they get out to the general public."

Burroughs cites the last eight years of the Bush administration and the popularity of The Colbert Report as creating the biggest problems for the company and their iconic dictionary.

"The average person isn't going to be able to come up with a word like misunderestimated or truthiness," said Burroughs. "But Lito's clearly ahead of the curve in that regard. Just today he told me he was "exaspercited" to start with us next week. Obviously we're exaspercited to have him as well."

With the off-season acquisition of Asante Samuel, the Eagles defensive backfield had become overpopulated and it was clear Lito Sheppard was going to be the odd man out. Eagles head coach Andy Reid feels the trade is the best that could be worked out.

"We have to make the moves that are best for the team and right now what's best for the team is getting what we can for a player like Lito," said Reid. "I'm not going to go into details, but we think the books that we acquired are going to play a big role ... task ... purpose ... capacity. See it's already paying off."

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